My Slovenian love affair

So… one of the most unlikely things happened to me, at one of the most inconvenient times of my life. Of course, right? In the very short time period between my marriage blowing up and my exodus across the pond – I met Matt.

Now I don’t need a background in psychology to know that meeting a guy while you are going through a divorce AND planning on leaving the country for a year is NOT a good idea. I mean really, NOT a good idea. I told myself that. My friends told me that. My family told me that. Any rational advice in the modern world was telling me that. But you know what? Fuck that noise. Something about this was different.

Girl meets boy

Matt was just an incredibly nice guy. He was tall and handsome, had kind brown eyes, and was just so freaking adorable. The fact that he also played bass was just plain sexy. I’d never been into musicians before, but I was definitely seeing the appeal. Raw talent was mesmerizing.

When I learned his last name for the first time, I was like, “whaaaaat? Pogorelc? Yo, what’s up with that “c” on the end”?

Matt was also exotic, but in a different way (I guess I like the exotic ones). He explained to me that his heritage on both sides was Slovenian, hence the unusual last name. Slovenia hmm, a country I’d never really even heard of or given much thought to. I had to Google it immediately.

And whoa…what a place! The very first pictures that came up included the oh-so-amazing views of Lake Bled – a pristine alpine lake with an island and church steeple rising dramatically out of it. It looked like a page out of a fairy tale! Like a place that didn’t actually exist in real life. This place was where this guy’s family was from? WHAT? Had I just found a real-life prince from a freaking fairy-tale land?

Aside from my mounting attraction for this Slovenian cutie pie, Matt and I got along amazing as friends. Conversation was fluid and easy, almost too easy. He was so incredibly kind to me in a way that I was SO not used to. I was always waiting for him to turn into a pod person and reveal all his evil normal-guy tendencies (I’ve since stopped waiting for this to happen).

The perfect fit

Although it doesn’t sound particularly romantic, but being with Matt felt like slipping on a perfectly broken in pair of leather shoes (and in this case, they were Slovenian leather shoes). You know, that “ahhhh” feeling? They mold to your feet in the most deliciously comfortable way, like they were custom made for you. No breaking in blisters. No chafing, no rubs. Just perfect comfort. Matt saw the version of me that no one else saw, the real me. And he liked that girl, just as she was (I know, I kinda stole that line from “Bridget Jones”). But it was amazing! He actually listened to me when I talked and he respected my ideas and dreams – even encouraged them. Sounds pretty basic I know, but at the time these were not things I was used to in a romantic partner.

So then, WHAT do you do with that? Take a hard pass because everyone in the world is screaming at you that this can’t possibly be the perfect pair of shoes for you? Believe them when they tell you that you have to wait? That better, shiner shoes might be in your future? MIGHT? Hell freaking no.

What do you do when you find something that most people wait their wholes lives to find?  You hold on to that shit with both hands – like you’re freaking Gollum clutching “my precious”.

Reality

But really, no. I didn’t grasp onto Matt like Gollum. I wasn’t that crazy! I actually took it really slow because I knew psychologically, diving head first into another relationship while dissolving your previous one is not the smartest idea. I knew I had a lot of work to do on me. I needed to go away, heal, and figure out who I really was before I could be with another person.

Matt miraculously accepted this about me – he understood that I wasn’t open to a relationship just yet. He helped me liquidate my former life, proofread my enrollment statements for grad school and even delivered me to the airport for my one-way flight to England and out of his life. Leaving the comfort and excitement of a new person (especially someone that “got me” so completely) was heart wrenching – but oh so necessary.

Falling head over heels

The first few days in England were agony. I cried a lot. What did I just do? I found a man who was completely perfect for me, then I left him. What if I never saw him again? What if he didn’t “wait” for me? These were questions I was just going to have to live with. I made a decision, I had to follow it through.

The separation actually turned out to be the best thing for our budding relationship. Every single day we talked on Skype. We let each other live our lives, but kept a connection. We learned so much about each other over long 4 hour phone conversations, like you do with your first high school crush.

Matt even came to visit me in England! He got his very first passport for the journey. Once I saw him again face to face, I knew I was in love – and he knew it too. This was the real deal. The “one.”

He even told me he loved me for the first time in the most romantic way, at the very last second while getting on the bus to leave England (and me) to return to the States. Of course I cried my eyes out at the bus stop, and then the whole way back to my flat. People passing by stared at my puffy tear-stained face, but I didn’t give a shit – I realized that I just said good-bye to the love of my life. Again.

Coming home

So….although not through the conventional timeline, I had found the love of my life. I guess you could say I’m incredibly lucky in that respect. Some people never find the peanut butter to their jelly. But because I had found mine, I knew that my life abroad would never truly be fulfilling without him. So I went home. Home to the States. And home to a new life I would build there with him.

I could have stayed and tried it get a job in the UK or elsewhere in Europe. I could have studied longer, etc etc. Some people might say that I’m a fool to have given up my international life for a guy. But I don’t see it that way. I couldn’t give up something that was so so good, for uncertainty. And who’s to say we couldn’t have an international life TOGETHER? In reality, I gave up nothing, and gained everything.

We were perfectly OK on our own, but together we were incredible.

OK, so I’m gonna gush for a second: Matt is the best thing to ever happen to me. He supports me unconditionally. He makes me feel accepted, safe and sexy. He understands the weird inner workings of my brain sometimes better than I do. He makes me laugh, challenges me to be a better person but also accepts me as me. And LIKES the real me! That’s the most liberating feeling! To be able to completely be yourself with another person, to be so vulnerable and awkward, and to still be accepted and loved. If that’s not worth it, then I don’t know what is.

Our happily ever after

When I left England, I moved to Nashville, Tennessee to be with Matt. Since I had basically no possessions and no car, I moved in with him. Together we built ourselves a sweet little life in Tennessee. I eventually found a job, and got a car. And we found a cute little rental house where we could have a garden. Then I started saving and we found a way to return to England together for my graduation the following year. That trip sparked the beginning of our many journeys overseas together. I discovered that traveling with your life partner is a whole new adventure.

After five years of being together, Matt eventually proposed. Getting married again was something I never thought would do. But again, when it’s RIGHT you know it. He waited until he knew I was ready, and by then I totally was. I was thrilled to marry Matt – it was the most natural thing in the world. It was supposed to happen, and it was a glorious party.

Visiting the mother land

Naturally for our honeymoon, we took the opportunity to explore Slovenia. We were pretty certain we were going to enjoy Slovenia, but we had no idea we were going to fall in love! The snow-capped Alps, the emerald green lakes and rivers, the rolling vineyards and the quaint capital Ljubljana. It really was a page right out of a fairy-tale.

Much in the same way that Matt fit me like a custom made shoe, we fit into Slovenia. It felt like home from the second we arrived. Everything about this amazing country seemed to fit with our philosophy and lifestyle. Obsessed, we had to go back for a second honeymoon the following year –and our second trip was even better than the first. It felt like going home.

I fell in love with the man and then with the country of his ancestors.

Finding home

From the moment I met Matt, something about him just felt like home. I think my life’s journey thus far has taught me that “home” can take on many forms. It can be a place, a person, a taste, smell and even a feeling. It’s the place where you feel relaxed, accepted and comforted. Where I call home is always ever-changing. Right now physically, it is Nashville. But home is also where my family is in Florida, where I found myself in Oxford, in the mountains of Slovenia, and wrapped in Matt’s bear hugs. I don’t have to give up any of my versions of home to have another. They all co-exist and build on one another.

I think that knowing I have multiple homes to go to (and that I carry home with me in Matt) I feel content in the world around me. It drives me to experience new places with the eyes of a local. To see each new place as potential new “home”. The Robison family’s Great California Expedition no doubt trained me well for this, and for that I am eternally grateful.

God speed. Off to write new life chapters!

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